TRAMS AND TRAFFIC:
- They don’t have any tram educate; waiting for people to get off the tram before enter hasn’t crossed their mind.
- Standing is the thing to do, if there’s a spare seat, nobody sits down and instead the tram gets crowded with people standing on each other while seats are empty all over the tram.
- The more popular the tram line, the smaller trams they have. Standing on top of each other is cosy.
- Tram and train time tables are only for show. The actual time is nothing like the time table.
- On the tram it’s ok to take out your huge laptop and play computer games, even though you take up two seats
MELBOURNE VS. SYDNEY:
- Melbournians hate Sydney, or at least don’t like it. Melbourne people hate Sydney; Sydney doesn’t really care about Melbournians.
- They always ask you what you think about Melbourne vs. Sydney
- They always brag about Melbourne being less rainy than Sydney. From my own experience I can say this is not even considered being true.
FASHION AND FITNESS:
- Australians dress as if they’re going to a party everyday
- The shorter skirts/dresses/shorts the better
- Women dress in the ugliest leggings with no top covering anything. The saying “leggings are not pants” haven’t reached Australia
- When going out the fewer clothes the better is the rule.
- They never wear high heels on the way to work, thongs/flipflops are the way to go
- Then, at work and when going out, high heels are the shit
- Perfect nails and feet is compulsory
- The women are quite superficial; false eyelashes, nails, hair, tan, Botox, fat reduction etc etc is more common than real ones.
- As soon as there is a party, the women go crazy with their preparations. Dresses, makeup, hair, nails and tans are done and planned months prior to the actual party
- The works Christmas party is the same as a wedding.
- Australian men have no sense of style; the bigger and boxier clothes the better.
- All women have looooooong, usually blond, hair
- People in the city are fit. Exercising is compulsory, preferably 6am in the morning
- People are either skinny or fat, there’s no “normal” size
- Detoxes, boot camps and everything making you skinny and fit is everyday life
- Everyone is on some kind of diet
- As soon as the sun comes out they put on summer clothes, even though it might be only 15 degrees and a storm
- Melbourne fashion brands are mostly black clothes, I don’t know who buys them though since everyone in the city wear mostly bright, white or colourful clothes
- Jeans is a big no no at work, but deep cleavages and the shortest shorts are ok
- Thursdays & Fridays are the days people go shopping and shops are open until 9pm
- As in the States, shopping malls are the place to go shopping
- Aussie men are big, tall, sporty, loud and drink loads of beer
- Gay men are more fun than straight men and the gay clubs are the best
- No one is actually Australian; meeting a person with both parents born and raised in Australia is like finding a needle in a haystack.
- They take their days off seriously and party like there’s no tomorrow
- If a public holiday appears on a Saturday/Sunday they change it to a working day
- No one swears
- Everyone hates bogans
- Bogans are people that don’t have style, wear tracksuit pants, drink too much, swear and are generally annoying
- There are loads of Asians, Greeks, Italians and South Americans living in Melbourne
MUSIC AND TV:
- The Kardashians are more famous here than anywhere else
- They LOVE Abba, Roxette and Ace of Base
- Old bands that can’t find gigs anywhere else will most definitely have a big crowd in Australia
- Every 5 minutes there’s commercial on TV
- During summer there are more festivals than you can count
WEATHER AND OTHER COUNTRIES:
- According to Melbournians: January and February are amazing summer months. Every year it still rains in January and February and they say it’s the worst summer they had in ages
- They complain about the weather nonstop
- Weather changes every 2 hours
- They don’t travel outside of their own city; Melbournians don’t have any interest in seeing the rest of their country. A scaringly big amount of Melbournians have never visited Sydney
- Europe is thought of as one big country and has a catholic and family orientated tradition
- They love asking where you’re from and always want to guess.
- Swedish accent is the same as a German accent…
- For some weird reason everyone loves Germany
- They all want to travel to Europe and work in London
- Hipster is a new and trendy expression
- Being a hipster is every ones dream, they just don’t want to admit it
- There is a BIG difference between north of the Yarra River and south
- North of the river is “hippy, poor, exotic, dirty, cool, underground music, artists, warehouses, postmodernist”
- South of the river is “classy, money, organized, housewives, SUV:s, bay breezes, fitness”
- People from the south don’t like people from the north and vice versa and will not visit the other part if not needed
- Bicycling is THE trend in Melbourne
- Coffee is an important art
- St Kilda is where all the backpackers hang out in Melbourne
- There are rules for EVERYTHING, people are considered stupid in Australia
- There are fees for everything
- There are penalties for everything
- There are ATM’s everywhere, even inside bars, restaurants and nightclubs
- They have something called EFTPOST which no one, outside from Australia, really understands what it is
- They have so many different ways of paying with Visa cards it’s stupid. Credit, account, savings…??
- The Visa system is impossible to understand
- The governmental internet page is like trying to read and understand a space ship
- So many people are so amazingly bad in speaking English even though they’ve been living here for over 20 years
- You need a car to get anywhere outside the city centre in a reasonably time
- Annual leave is usually no longer than 2 weeks at the time
- Valentine’s day is the day you compete in who has the most amazing boyfriend/husband
- They are very polite and always holds up doors for you
- They say “G’day” and “How’s it going?” instead of hi
- They do actually say mate
- They have shortenings for E V E R Y T H I N G
- AFL, rugby and cricket are THE sports to follow and they LOVE them
FOOD AND DRINKS:
- Vegemite is really something they eat, every day
- Toast is the only bread they eat, preferably with vegemite or peanut butter
- There is no restaurant, no matter the theme or how fancy it is, that doesn’t serve chips
- BBQ is a serious business in this country
- There are more restaurants in Melbourne than there are people
- Roof top bars are a serious business and an amazing way of spending your evening
- They bet on horse/dog racings at the local pub
- There’s a pub in every corner
- Jugs are the shit
APARTMENTS AND CARS:
- For some weird reason most apartment or houses don’t have air-conditioning
- There’s no such thing called insulation
- Having no TV is like living on Mars
- They don’t know what heating is and how it works
- They drive a ute
- They put Chevrolet badges on their clearly Australian built Holden
- Holden is the same as Opel